Total Drama: Notan Island
by zorzob
Summary: Eighteen contestants from across Canada come to the mysterious Notan Island to compete for 1,000,000. Will they survive Chris's many traps and more importantly, the island's secrets?
1. Chapter One: Total Drama Ten Years Later

Episode One: "Total Drama… Ten Years Later!"

The sky shined bright as Chris McLean stood on a dock of a fairly nondescript island in the middle of seemingly nowhere. No islands, boats, shores, or anything appeared in the distance. Chris looked at every single camera, completely unaware of everything around him.

"Wow McLean, lookin' goooood!" Chris gushed, slicking back his hair. "Not a single wrinkle! Ten years looks like two minutes for the Chris-ster!"

"Uh, Chris? We're rolling," A nameless intern said from out of frame.

"Huh? Well why didn't you tell me?" Chris said. "You're fired, dude! Geez, where can I get some good interns around here?"

The camera dropped to the ground and a loud sobbing was heard as footsteps rushed away. Another intern picked up the camera and Chris simply smiled at it.

"We can cut that out right?" Chris asked. "Of course we can, whatever. Um… yo! It's Chris McLean and we are back, baby! Oh yeah! Ten years ago we began the first season of Total Drama at Camp Wawanakwa! Those twenty-two contestants, full of fan favorites… lovable production pets… and also Tyler… yeah they're all washed up now so none of them are back! Haha! Yeah, instead we decided to bring in eighteen NEW teens to an all new island to compete for One! Million! Dollars!"

Chris walked across the dock, "That's right, eighteen new contestants, a whole new island, same lovable host, that's me! Chris McLean! Also Chef's back too, but who cares about him, right?"

Chef grimaced, "The only reason I'm back is back is 'cause of your jank ass contract! I want a raise!"

"Sure buddy, we can discuss this… never!" Chris exclaimed. "Anyways, they'll be here any time now, so, let's meet the cast of Total! Drama! Notan Island!"

Suddenly, the camera is on a large yacht. The yacht is named the "S.S. Chris", and is decked out in every possible way. The eighteen contestants were seen in various parts of the boat. Near the pool sat three equally awkward teens. Lounging in a small sunbathing chair was Kyle, a tall, sort of broad, white guy wearing glasses, a black t-shirt, and black slacks. The other two were sitting on the edge of the pool. One, Milo, a short bald black guy wearing a black hoodie and jeans, and the other, Marshall, an even shorter ginger guy with a bowl cut, a button down shirt, and khakis.

"So to make a long story short, that's what makes Total Drama THE best social experiment of all time!" Marshall, the ginger, enthused. "And why I, Marshall S. Jenkins, WILL win it!"

"First boot, calling it now," Kyle said dully. "Can you say... overplayer?"

"Oh, shut up you jerk!" Marshall spazzed. "You just don't know TRUE genius when you see it! My mind has evolved beyond those of the typical person… you guys just wouldn't get it. Do you want me to kick you off first?!"

"I think you might be thinking a bit too highly of yourself…" Milo said.

"Oh, so it's a contest between the two of you now?" Marshall exclaimed. "You'll BOTH be my first victims…"

Milo looked at Marshall, thoroughly confused.

* * *

 **Marshall:** "I am THE biggest Total Drama superfan of all time, I have studied this game for years and I have boiled it down to an absolute science. I know EXACTLY what to do at all turns. Nothing will get by me. These little JERKS won't get the better of me!"

* * *

 **Milo:** "Honestly, these people… aren't exactly my crowd. They're all super loud, and I'm just not. However, I'm confident in my abilities and I know I've got what it takes to take it all here." _Milo smiled faintly._

* * *

 **Kyle:** "People didn't win this game by sticking to a plan," _Kyle crossed his arms._ "In fact, I'd go as far as to say that half the winners of this show didn't know what the hell they were doing. So I'm just gonna go all in here, do whatever the hell I feel like and see what sticks, you know?"

* * *

Meanwhile, on another part of the boat four more teens were gathered in a small group. Two of them, a tall obese white guy with greasy brown hair and coke-bottle glasses named Carl and a very short, skinny, pale white girl with buzzed pink hair and very tacky colorful clothes stood mere inches apart yelling at each other while a tall, lanky black girl with long black hair named Ivory stood by half watching, half reading a novel. Within the area Anthony, a tall muscular black guy stood, flexing with only a pair of black basketball shorts on.

"C'mon m'lady!" Carl pleaded to D'arcy. "You look so nice and sweet, I know that we would be so good together!"

"Eaugh!" D'arcy began to bat Carl away from her. "Disgusting degenerate male! Keep your sweaty disgusting mitts off me! You're not entitled to my body by existing!"

"Seriously?!" Carl exclaimed. "I complimented you, asked how you were doing, and this is the thanks I get? Typical female. I should've expected nothing less…"

"What the fuck do you mean by that?" D'arcy said, starting to get in Carl's face. "You're nothing but a disgusting misogynist pig!"

* * *

 **Carl:** "Females are so hard to gauge. I, as a meninist, have no time to think of female's feelings unless I'm going to get something out of it. That's what my buddies on r/incel said. They know how to pull all the females!"

* * *

 **D'arcy:** "Ugh! I came to this game to get AWAY from all the disgusting pigs like that disgusting loser! I was hoping for a vacation with some womyn who were just like ME! The most diverse way there is! Now I have to deal with… men! Dammit!"

* * *

As the two continued to argue, Ivory began to look at them, clearly irritated with the situation. Anthony looked at her and began winking obnoxiously. "C'mon babe, let's leave them and go do our own thing, you feel?"

"I don't like you," Ivory said bluntly, returning to her book.

Anthony looked at her angrily and began flexing harder, "You can't resist the Anthony! No woman can!"

"I can and I will," Ivory said, not even looking up. Anthony gasped. "Muscle bound losers like you aren't my thing."

"How rude," Anthony simply said before walking away.

* * *

 **Ivory:** "People suck. I don't like them, hell I don't even really want to talk to them. But for the money? Of course. That's the only reason I'm here."

* * *

 **Anthony:** "Yep, take it all in. That's all me baby, 24/7 g. All natural and everything, my tank top says it! Ya see, I'm basically the most attractive guy on earth so I'm gonna use that to my advantage! Time to woo the girls! Yeah!" _Anthony flexed._

* * *

Near the captain's quarters stood a jukebox, and two large muscular guys dancing around it. One, Jared, being black and extremely tall with a small afro and the other, Evan, being white with long blonde hair. A lanky blonde girl with flowers in her hair and wearing tie-dyes named Ziggy was also dancing. A small, Asian girl with short black hair and thick rimmed glasses, Sue-Li sat in the general area.

"Hell yeah brotendo! We basically have like, everything in common!" Evan exclaimed. "We both like chicks, parties, and brewskis with the fellas! Yeah!"

"I know, right? Glad to see someone on this boat ain't a fucking loser!" Jared said loudly over the music.

"You're both idiots," Sue Li said.

"Damn, broski, party pooper!" Evan said as he stopped dancing.

"Agreed," Jared said. "Who let the fucking geeks on the boat anyways? Isn't this just a vacation for cool people?"

* * *

 **Evan:** "Dude, life's a party man and I'm the guy for that! I'm out here just to have a good time and maybe get a little extra dough on the side. It's so sick!"

* * *

"What?" Sue-Li said. "You think this is just a vacation? Seriously? This is a gam for a million bucks!"

"One million bucks?" Evan exclaimed. "Oh snap hell yeah!" Evan and Jared high fived.

"Regardless, you best be moving along, geek," Jared said.

"Don't tell me what to do, especially considering your IQ is likely in the lower 70s," Sue-Li retorted.

"Jokes on you, geek, I don't know what that means!" Jared exclaimed. "Wait-"

Suddenly, Ziggy walked in between the three. "Come on, fellow contestants. Let us not fight! We have plenty of time to get well acquainted with one another. But we must be peaceful, and become one with the cosmos." The three just stared at Ziggy for a long time, awkwardly.

"Either way, don't talk to me, nerd," Jared said, finally. Sue-Li rolled her eyes and went back to what she was doing.

* * *

 **Jared:** "Honestly, fuck that little bitch man. She has no idea who shes talking to. I'm the CAPTAIN of the FOOTBALL TEAM at my school. What is she? Some second rate math nerd. I bet those aren't even real glasses!"

* * *

 **Sue-Li:** "Jocks are all the same, they just think they can stomp all over us and make it be okay. It's just like high school, they're all the same… well guess what? We aren't in high school anymore, we're on Total Drama. This is my domain, and I'm gonna win."

* * *

 **Ziggy:** "I sense a great disturbance in this game. Many people shall be hurt greatly if they don't change their ways and submit to the positive vibes I am giving out! It's just nature's way. I have to allow for positivity and growth to cultivate in this game, and I shall do anything to make that happen!"

* * *

At the opposite end of the boat sat multiple extremely awkward teens in near dead silence. One of them, Lyn, a small asian girl with very long hair wearing extremely bright colors, was bouncing up and down in excitement while Dawson, a tall ginger with long hair wearing all grey, was nearly folded up in a heap on a lawn chair. Clementine, a tall hispanic girl with an afro and very plain clothes stood looking at the ocean.

"This isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happening this isn't happ-" Dawson chanted to himself hypnotically.

"This IS happening!" Lyn screamed enthusiastically. "Can you believe it? We're on Total Drama Island! This is absolutely insane! I'm soooooooo excited, aren't you?"

* * *

 **Dawson:** "I'll be honest, I didn't sign up for this show. In fact, I didn't want to be here in the first place! It was just suggested by my therapist that I should go on here for some social interaction or something but like… I'm scared. I'm not used to this before! I just hope I can make the most of this…"

* * *

 **Lyn:** "Hiiiii hi hi! I'm Lyn! I'm so incredibly psyched to be here! Woo hoo! I love love LOVE TV and so I'm excited to finally be on TV! I remember watching Total Drama back in like, the day when I was like 6 and I was just like 'oh my god that's so cool I wanna do that!' and here I am and it's so cool!"

* * *

Suddenly, a tall, model-esque blonde wearing a blue dress and high heels stood up from an adjacent chair and started screaming. "I am NOT excited at all! I hate this place!"

"Really? Really really really really REALLY?!" Lyn pestered. "I think this is so fun!"

"Ugh!" Vanessa exclaimed. "I cannot BELIEVE I am stuck here! My lawyers won't allow this to go on any longer!" Vanessa suddenly answered her cell phone, which began ringing. "What? What do you mean 'it's in my contract to appear'?! Who's side are you even on? Ugh!"

"You didn't read the contract?" Clementine asked. "I thought it was stated pretty clearly…"

"Well you know what?" Vanessa exclaimed. "Reading is for LOSERS so I don't bother with it! That's what my professional readers are for."

"Professional readers?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah, I know you PEONS don't have them but us who like to live lavishly do!" Vanessa replied.

"Oh… wow…" Clementine said, looking away.

* * *

 **Vanessa:** "Ugh! I wanted to come on here to be even more rich and famous than I already am, but I thought this was the show with the HOUSE! Not the one with the disgusting run down summer camp garbage! I don't wanna do this shit! I wanna go home!"

* * *

 **Clementine:** "I know I appear pretty normal… but I'm ACTUALLY a world renowned chess champ! I have three world titles and I'm here to prove you can apply something like chess to a reality game. It's exciting, quite frankly. But I know I have this wrapped up already."

* * *

Next to the pool sat the last three campers. Two of them were sitting in lounge chairs, Misty, a tall white girl wearing all blue with dyed blue hair, and James, an overall average white guy with dyed purple hair and wearing odd white clothes that resemble a space suit. The other, Wednesday, a sort of chubby goth with too much makeup and shoulder length black and green hair, sat criss-cross under an umbrella.

"The world is a fart. I hate modern art. I want to die. My favorite bread is rye. Augh!" Wednesday said dramatically. "So, what'd you think?"

"Um…" James stammered. "It's… great. Just great."

"So nothing of any note here…" Misty scribbled in a small notebook. "This place seems totally devoid of anything remotely interesting…"

* * *

 **Wednesday:** "I am here to promote my poetry. That's it. I hate the sun. I hate fun. I hate life. I hate knife. Fin. Thank you."

* * *

"So like, who are you?" Misty said, turning to James and raising her pen and notepad. "Got any interesting stories?"

"Oh boy do I!" James suddenly perked up. "Do you wanna hear every single intricate detail about space!?"

"Are there aliens involved?" Misty asked.

"Well… no, but-" James began, but was immediately cut off by Misty.

"Then I'm not interested," Misty said. "I need the hard hitting stories here if I'm gonna make anything out of this stupid trip!"

* * *

 **Misty** : "Misty Rogers, ace reporter here! I'm here to get the hot takes and scoops of this competition, but I'm also here to win! I'll do whatever it takes to get myself to victory! People will know my name at the end of this!"

* * *

 **James:** "You probably already know me, youngest astronaut ever ring a bell? Whatever, James Moto, Luminary of the Stars here! Y'know, I don't really know what exactly to do here… so I'm just gonna play with my heart and see what happens! Sometimes you gotta be reckless to make your dreams a reality!"

* * *

"Really?" James said. "Implying that literal space travel is not worthy of the news?"

"Well that's all been reported on before!" Misty said. "I have big aspirations, I'm the best so I gotta get the best, you feel me?"

"Well you got the best right here! James Moto, luminary of the stars!" James exclaimed indignantly.

"Prove it," Misty said.

"Oh, I will. In due time!" James said, standing up and raising his hand to the sky. "James Moto, the luminary of the stars shall show everyone he's the greatest!"

"Sure…" Misty said. Suddenly the boat screeched to a stop at the dock of Notan Island.

Chris McLean gestured for them all to get off the boat, and eventually he and the eighteen teens gathered in the campfire area of the camp. Six stumps sat in front of a small podium, there was a large archway at the beginning of a trail that led to the dock.

"Welcome… to Total! Drama! Notan Island!" Chris said, dramatically. "Isn't it exciting?"

"Yes!" Lyn screamed. Many people made disgusted facial expressions.

"Well at least someone has enthusiasm," Chris McLean said. "Anyways! This is Notan Island. A wonderful little island we found in the middle of nowhere off the coast of Nova Scotia! And it's also your home for the next six weeks!"

"Wait, seriously?!" Vanessa exclaimed. "Where's like… my private estate?"

"Over there," Chris gestured to a small, dusty looking cabin that sat next to an identical cabin. "If by private estate you mean dingy little cabin you'll have to share with nine people! Haha!"

"No!" Vanessa screamed. "Why? Come on!"

"Stop whining, jeeeeeez," Chris said. "Anyways! Here's the dealio. You guys are gonna be spending the next six weeks here at Notan Island's Camp McLean-Yes, that's right, Camp McLean-competing in challenges for a million dollars! You guys are gonna be divided in teams and the winning teams get killer rewards and some nice swag, while the losers have to join me here! Here, at the campfire, everyone but one person will receive a coveted marshmallow. The person who does not receive a marshmallow must immediately gather their belongings and walk down the Dock of Shame, board the Boat of Losers, and leave. You're out! No million bucks, no relevance, no stardom, whatever! You're done-zo!"

"Any self respecting Total Drama contestant already KNOWS that McLean," Marshall said. "If they don't know that then they don't even deserve to be here!"

"Well if everyone was an annoying super fan like you, we wouldn't be pulling flies here, kid," Chris said dully. "Anyways, any questions?!"

"Um… do we get a jukebox?!" Evan asked.

"Maybe if you actually win something!" Chris answered.

"Righteous," Evan said. He and Jared fist bumped.

Everyone else stood there, more or less completely silent. The only noise being Dawson's teeth legitimately chattering. "What? I'm nervous…"

"About what?" Clementine asked.

"Yeah!" Chris chimed in. "It's not like we've had any injuries on this show or anything…"

"That's a complete lie," Marshall corrected. "If you're going to lie to the poor sucker, at least make it convincing."

"You know what I'm two seconds away from throwing you down the dock myself!" Chris exclaimed, pointing at Marshall. "Zip it!"

Marshall looked shocked. "Yessir!"

"Anyways!" Chris said. "It's time to divide you all up into teams! If I call your name, stand over there in the grass!"

Chris opened up a small folded up piece of paper in his shirt pocket. "Evan! James!"

Evan fist pumped while he and James walked over.

"Misty! Ziggy! Carl!"

The three walked over quietly.

"Please don't be me please don't be me ple-" D'arcy quietly chanted to himself.

"And… D'arcy!" Chris said, laughing. D'arcy immediately went pale.

"M'lady!" Carl called from the other side of the camp.

* * *

 **D'arcy:** "I'm writing a strongly worded letter to your producers for this! #SocialChange!"

* * *

"You six will now be known as… The Terrible Tigers!" Chris exclaimed.

"Tigers aren't terrible!" Ziggy frowned. "Tigers are majestic beings!"

"Yeah sure whatever," Chris said. "Next tribe! Go stand near the stumps! Lyn! Wednesday!"

Lyn fluttered over as Wednesday slowly moped her way to the stumps.

"Dawson, Milo!"

The two walked over.

"Vanessa, and… Marshall!"

"What if I don't want to be on any team!" Vanessa said. "You gonna send me home now?"

"Sorry, no can do bro," Chris said. "It's in the contract! No quitters!"

"What?!" Vanessa exclaimed. "Since when?"

"Since… whenever I said it!" Chris said. "If you'll notice there's a 'Chris Can Change the Contract" clause, or C4 for short. More or less, I make the rules out here!"

"Ugh," Vanessa sulked as she walked over to the others with Marshall. Marshall began grinning wildly as he looked at his team.

* * *

 **Marshall:** "The perfect team to manipulate… hahaha! This game is falling right into my hands!"

* * *

 **Milo:** "We're doomed, aren't we."

* * *

"And that leave six of you," Chris said. "Clementine, Ivory, Sue-Li, Jared, Kyle, and Anthony! You six are the Leaping Lizards!"

"Honestly I'd prefer to be called the Awesome Anthonys," Anthony said. "I think it suits our team's strong suits better…"

"Pfft, whatever," Sue-Li snarked.

"Are you doubting the team?!" Anthony exclaimed. "More importantly, are you doubting ME?!"

"I don't think that's what she meant-" Clementine began.

"Man, lack of team spirit on this team from the ladies…" Jared said.

* * *

 **Jared:** "Looks like I'm gonna have to whip this team up into shape by getting rid of the dead weight… the ladies. All three have bad attitudes I don't tolerate on the field OR off!"

* * *

"Alright! There's just a couple more things to take care of," Chris said. "For one, there on the other side of camp is the mess hall and the communal washrooms. The mess hall serves food at specific times so get there or you don't eat! The communal washrooms are there for everyone's benefit, don't forget to bathe. You all stink as it is."

"What? I don't stink!" Vanessa exclaimed.

"I didn't mean exclusively you, but if the shoe fits I guess…" Chris laughed. "Also, the two cabins over there? One is for the dudes, and the other for the chicks! Both are equally crappy so it doesn't matter which is which. So go ahead and move in!"

In the boys cabin, the guys are all putting their bags on various bunks. Evan and Jared high five yet again, and the guys all look around.

"Ah yes, a cabin with just us men in it," Carl said, relieved. "No females to judge us for what we are!"

"Hell yeah! A bro's cabin!" Jared exclaimed. "For bros! I'm stoked!"

"Let's party, bro!" Evan exclaimed. "Where are the brewskis!"

"Dude, we're at summer camp, they don't have beer," Kyle said. "Though if they did… that'd make the strategizing part much more fun…"

"I'm gonna be sick," Dawson said, running out of the cabin.

* * *

 **Dawson:** "Honestly, all that… bro-iness was getting to me. I needed out for a minute, but when I left I just saw Marshall…"

* * *

Marshall was then seen standing by a flagpole which was situated in the middle of camp, cackling to himself. "This game shall be mine!"

"Huh?" Dawson said. Marshall suddenly turned around.

"Oh, you're here?" Marshall said. "Surprised to see you still up and walking, spazz attack. Well, you heard it here first what I've been preaching this entire time! This game is mine, best to get on the train while you can."

Dawson then passed out immediately.

* * *

 **Marshall:** "Dawson is weak, all the better for a useless minion! I swear, today just keeps getting better and better!"

* * *

Meanwhile back in the cabin, "Remember guys, let's not let the game get to us!" James exclaimed. "For at the end of this, we are all just teens vying for a prize in the end! As leader of this cabin, it's my duty-"

"Wait who said YOU were leader of the cabin?" Jared asked.

"Well, I mean I am the most qualified after all…" James said.

"No, I am! I'm hot!" Anthony exclaimed.

"Oh, pipe down, we need a superior intellect," Carl said. "That's me!"

* * *

 **James:** "There is absolutely no way that I am letting someone like Jared be the leader of the men here! I am the only one who can! I mean… come on!"

* * *

Suddenly all the guys began arguing, the entire cabin descended into chaos until they began hearing an even louder commotion coming from the girls cabin.

"Wait… you hear that?" Milo asked. "I think it's coming from the girls cabin."

"What do you mean YOU get the top bunk, facing the ocean?!" Vanessa screamed. "I NEED that bunk or I will literally NOT be able to sleep!"

"I don't care," Sue-Li said bluntly. "You're not getting it, in fact, I'm ready to keep it even more now."

"Ugh! This is SO unfair!" Vanessa exclaimed. "I'll remember that, bitch!"

"Wonderful," Sue-Li retorted. "I'll be shocked if you really do."

"Come on guys really?" Lyn said loudly from across the cabin. "Let's all just be happy happy happy, this is our dream right?!"

"Oh, shut up…" Wednesday sulked on her bunk. "Hope is for presidents and dreams are for people who are sleeping."

"Oh wow that's actually kind of deep," Misty said.

"No it's NOT!" Lyn said. "It's pessimism, and I won't tolerate it!"

* * *

 **Lyn:** "These girls are all so negative! They need to take a step back and look on the bright side of life!"

* * *

"Come on girls!" D'arcy piped up. "Get it together! We're losing it! We need to stand strong TOGETHER or we will just fall to the patriarchal rule of those FILTHY men! Especially that no good fat neckbeard loser! Come on, womyn! Let's stand together #WithHer!"

"Wait what?" Clementine asked. "I'm sorry, but isn't #WithHer like… two years ago?"

"Shut up!" D'arcy exclaimed. "Are you a Trump supporter or something? Or should I say… LITERALLY Hitler?"

"Well no but-" Clementine began.

"Then you're #WITHHER!" D'arcy screamed.

"O-kay then…" Clementine said.

* * *

 **D'arcy:** "God it's hard getting all these strong womyn together to do what I want them to do, which is be themselves!"

* * *

 **Clementine:** "D'arcy seems to definitely have a chip on her shoulder… I can use that to my advantage, but in due time. Not now…"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the mess hall of Camp McLean, Chris McLean is seen standing alone. "Well, day one of Total Drama Notan Island down and it's already shaping up to be a spicy one! Who will come out on top, and who will come out on the pitiful, pitiful bottom? Well, find out next time on… Total! Drama! Notan Island!"

The screen faded to black.


	2. Chapter 2: The Beginning of the End

"Previously on Total Drama Notan Island!" Chris McLean exclaimed. "Eighteen… unique teens arrived here at the fabulous Notan Island to compete for in the latest season of Total Drama! They learned of their crappy living arrangements and that they'll be competing for the one million dollar prize. I split them into three teams, The Leaping Lizards, The Terrible Tigers, and the…. Um…"

"Says here you didn't give them a team name!" Chef said, looking at some papers. "You messed up,"

"…I didn't?" Chris asked.

"No," Chef replied. "Unless you think I'm lying!?"

"Huh. Uh… The Boring Bears!" Chris exclaimed. "Yep, that's their name. Anyways, now that the teams are formed. Who will soar and who will go belly up? Find out on this episode of… Total! Drama! Notan Island!"

* * *

In the middle of the camp, The Leaping Lizards were having a team meeting. The six, Anthony, Ivory, Sue-Li, Jared, Kyle, and Clementine, stood in a circle near the flag pole.

"Alright team," Jared said, looking around. "We are CLEARLY the strongest team here, I mean, we have me, Anthony, and Kyle. That alone is the strongest group of mother-effers on this entire island. So all we need to do is to work as a TEAM and fuck shit up! Who's with me?!"

"…Did you only name the guys on the team on purpose or…?" Clementine asked.

* * *

 **Clementine** : "Jared is clearly a sexist, I mean, really? Kyle? Anthony I guess I get, even though he is clearly just musclebound. But Kyle is not more muscular than myself or Ivory."

* * *

 **Jared** : "What? I didn't say them because they aren't strong! Duh! No gendered thing about it! I'm just tryna keep the damn team strong, and if that means taking out the three girls… then so be it!"

* * *

"So what?" Jared said. "You guys are weak. Gender has NOTHING to do with it."

"Okay but Kyle is not a muscular guy here either," Clementine rebutted. "Why is suddenly in the strong man club?"

"Hey man," Kyle said. "Don't bring my name into this one…"

"Because he's got that mental toughness!" Jared said. "The guy is smart! Look at his glasses!"

"I'm an international chess champ," Clementine said. "Kyle is what… an anime nerd?"

"Now that was just uncalled for," Kyle replied.

"Ladies," Anthony interjected. "Let's not argue, let's just feast our eyes and souls on my… sexy body…"

Anthony began flexing to the dismay of everyone. "Abs are gross," Sue-Li said with a sigh.

"Look man," Jared rolled his eyes. "You either got it or ya don't, and in my opinion, Kyle's got it. You don't. Prove to me you don't suck!"

* * *

 **Kyle** : "I like it for the plot, okay?!"

* * *

Meanwhile, in the woods. Marshall is seen talking to Dawson and Vanessa. "This is excellent. I believe that the three of us will make the perfect team! We have MY amazing brains, Vanessa's dazzling beauty, and Dawson's… uh, vote! Yes!"

"My vote?" Dawson said. "I-Is that all I'm really good for?!"

"Of course, my henchman!" Marshall exclaimed. "In the end, that is all that is necessary. We need three votes, you supply us with that third. Therefore, that's what I say!"

"Uh… okay…" Dawson said. "So why isn't Vanessa just a vote then?"

"Because lame-o," Vanessa butted in. "I am PRETTY! You are just a weird ginger FREAK!"

"W-what?" Dawson stuttered.

Marshall laughed loudly. "Oh never mind this, you're a vote for us, end of story!"

* * *

 **Marshall** : "This is all going perfectly according to plan, I need dumb people on my side if I am to win this game and they are the perfect couple of lemmings for this to work! Victory will be mine in no time, I just have to neutralize all my threats."

* * *

 **Vanessa** : "I mean duh Marshall's a dickhead but like he called me pretty and wants me to go far so like… I'm okay with it! I'm trying to get some money, baby!"

* * *

 **Dawson** : "I figured this would happen… I'm not exactly the most likable person ever. I guess I am just expendable…"

* * *

James and Misty were sitting on the edge of the dock together, alone. None of the rest of the team appeared to be anywhere near them.

"Honestly, I am glad to at least be on a team with one sane person," James said. "If I had been stuck with just those weirdos I'd have lost my mind!"

"Agreed," Misty laughed. "Ziggy is okay I guess, a bit too cheery, but the other three… oh man don't even get me started! Interesting from a journalistic standpoint… not from an interacting one.

* * *

 **James** : "Yeah Misty is pretty much my only friend on this team, she's the only one who I can actually have a conversation with. I appreciate it a lot!"

* * *

"By the way, have you even seen Ziggy since we all split up?" James asked.

"Uh, I don't think so?" Misty said.

Suddenly, Ziggy popped out of the water and jumped onto the dock, scaring the other two. "Looking for me?"

"Jesus! Yes, we were wondering where you were…" James said.

"Ah, well I was becoming one with my fish brethren!" Ziggy exclaimed. "I strive every day to become one with nature, and it is working more and more! I feel so **enlightened…"**

"Fascinating," Misty said.

* * *

 **Misty** : "Like I said before, these people are absolutely fascinating in their bizarre beliefs! Honestly, where do you even find these people?"

* * *

Meanwhile, On the deck of the cabin, Milo was sitting on the stairs. Lyn came up to him and began poking him intently.

"What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong? What's wrong?" Lyn continued.

"Stop poking me," Milo said sternly.

"Why?" Lyn pressed.

"Because it's annoying," Milo said.

"Okay!" Lyn suddenly stopped poking him and sat down next to him. "What's up, buttercup?"

"I'm a bit bummed about this game honestly…" Milo sighed. "It's not what I expected at all…"

Lyn looked at him awkwardly. "Why? Did you expect it to be much more like glamorous or something because I did too! But it's okay! Because we're here together!"

"No, it's not that…" Milo said. "It's just like… this team is all like, so negative."

"I feel that!" Lyn said. "Just ignore the negativity! We will eventually purge them all from existence…"

"That's a bit… dark," Milo said.

* * *

 **Milo** : "Honestly I am not really having a good time right now here, my team is full of buffoons! Heck, the only one who has talked to me at length since we even got here is Lyn, who I am pretty sure is a few cards short of a full deck…"

* * *

 **Lyn** : "Milo is soooooo nice and sweet and cute! I just want to pinch his cheeks! But sadly the negativity is bringing him down and I don't want to see that! I think that we need to begin purging the negativity from this game once and for all! Hahaha!"

* * *

Dawson then walked up to the trio and asked them, "Do I seem like a pushover?"

"Uh… no?" Milo replied. "Why do you ask?"

"Well like, um…" Dawson stuttered. "I don't seem… weak?"

"I guess not," Milo replied. "You're like the biggest guy on the team."

Lyn grabbed him in a hug. "Don't worry Dawson! You can do whatever you want to do as long as you believe in yourself!"

"Oh wow, thanks…" Dawson said, happily. Milo half smiled.

"Of COURSE!" Lyn exclaimed. "I am HERE for you!"

* * *

 **Dawson** : "Lyn and Milo are very nice, especially compared to the others… I like talking to them."

* * *

Wednesday suddenly appeared and sat down right next to the two. "I am sad,"

"Huh? Why? Why? Why?" Lyn repeated. Milo rolled his eyes.

"Nobody is listening to my poetry," Wednesday solemnly said.

"Oh really? Let's hear it!" Lyn said, excitedly. "We would LOVE to hear it, right Milo?!"

"Huh? Oh, yeah…" Milo said.

Wednesday quietly cleared her throat. "Skulls. Bones. Damn. I hate life. My bones are dry. Ugh!" Wednesday stood up to bow quickly. "Thank you,"

Lyn and Milo simply sat there.

* * *

 **Lyn** : "Wednesday is EXACTLY what I mean by negativity that is unneeded! That poem? Completely negative! You need to LOVE life! That's the whole purpose of being here!"

* * *

 **Milo** : "Like I said, this team sucks."

* * *

Meanwhile, in the girl's cabin, D'arcy was plugging her ears as Carl was screeching the song of his people.

"M'lady," Carl said. "Did you enjoy my rendition of the My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic theme song?"

"No… no I didn't!" D'arcy exclaimed. "That show is for CHILDREN! You're a grown man! What is wrong with you?"

"B-But the lore is so complex!" Carl defended himself. "I have a body pillow signed by the voice actress of Derpy Hooves!"

D'arcy screamed and ran out of the cabin. "M'lady! Come back!" Carl exclaimed as she ran out.

* * *

 **Carl** : "Ugh! Elliot was wrong!"

* * *

 **D'arcy** : "Ugh! I cannot stand that fucking loser! I seriously cannot even right now!"

* * *

D'arcy ran out into the middle of the woods right into Evan, who was boogieing to non-existent music. "Wha-?"

"Suh dude!" Evan said, jovially.

"Oh… it's just… you," D'arcy shuddered. "The smelly one…"

Evan scratched his head. "Hey dude, I don't get that but like, you seem a bit upset what's the problem-o?"

"That degenerate male has been harassing me since we got here!" D'arcy exclaimed. "He has been making me want to rip his junk off and feed it to him!"

"Woah!" Evan exclaimed. "Pause on the negative vibes, bromiga! Calm down, he's gone for now."

"Yeah, but he'll be back," D'arcy rolled her eyes. "Disgusting neckbeards like him can't take no for an answer.

* * *

 **D'arcy** : "Carl is like a mosquito, like all the other disgusting incel bastards that plague society! He needs to just like, die or something."

* * *

 **Evan** : "D'arcy is a good soul bro, she's rough as fuck on the exterior but like I know she ain't all bad bro!"

* * *

Sue-Li, Clementine, and Ivory were sitting around the elimination area. "Clementine, Ivory, I think you guys know why I called you here…" Sue-Li began.

"The guys suck," Ivory said. "You've been over this already."

"No but guys come on!" Sue-Li exclaimed. "If we don't act, the guys club is gonna take over!"

Clementine shrugged. "That much should be obvious, clearly we're in. However, if you wish to get technical. We're only three people of a six person tribe, we need four for a majority."

"Well that is a bit of a problem, isn't it?" Sue-Li said. "Ugh, they all suck! How the hell are we supposed to decide?!"

"We have time, it's not entirely necessary right now to figure it out," Clementine said. "We just need to eventually come together and decide on one to flip eventually."

"Yeah, but who'd be dumb enough to flip on their allies?" Ivory said.

"You'd be surprised…" Clementine replied.

* * *

 **Sue-Li** : "The girl's alliance is such a good idea, now those meat heads will really know who's boss!"

* * *

 **Clementine** : "The girls alliance is honestly a necessary evil at this point. Neither Sue-Li nor Ivory are exactly worthwhile allies in the long run. Sue-Li is unstable and Ivory hardly cares. Regardless though, I'm rolling with them for the time being and hope to find a weak spot in the guys brodown going on here."

* * *

Suddenly the loudspeaker began to crackle loudly, alerting everyone of an incoming message. "Attention all campers! The first challenge of the season will take place in twenty minutes! Meet me at the top of that reeeeeeeeeally tall hill over there… you know the one. If you're not there in 20… you'll get the boot!"

Everyone suddenly gasped.

Lyn: "The boot? I don't want the boot!"

Twenty minutes later, the entire cast had rushed up the gigantic hill and were out of breath, except for Marshall. Chris looked at his watch. "Well, twenty minutes is up! I guess Marshall's gonna get the boot! Haha!"

"Oh no!" Ziggy exclaimed. "That is most unfortunate!"

"Good," D'arcy said. "Another degenerate male out of the picture."

Chris held up a very large, stinky boot. "It's really stinky, and he's gotta wear it all day!"

Marshall suddenly emerged from over the hill. "Like Chris would ever actually boot someone for no reason, even Ezekiel was given another chance, and everybody hated him!"

"Enough, enough," Chris said. "Marshall, remember what I said about critiquing my hosting!"

Marshall sighed. "Yeah,"

"Alright, good!" Chris exclaimed. "So, you may have already guessed but the first challenge is a fan favorite!"

"Oh boy!" Lyn exclaimed.

"Thank you for your enthusiasm over your impending death, Lyn!" Chris laughed. "Your first challenge will be jumping off this 1,000 foot high cliff into the shark infested waters below! There is a small safe zone within the water and if you make it in there your team gets a point! If you don't make it in, you don't score a point, but you also don't lose any points either! However, if you decide to NOT jump, you will not only cost your team a valuable point, but you will look like a total dork in the process!"

"Can't have that," Evan said. "The Ev-ster is NOT a dork."

James simply face palmed.

"Now, first up is the Terrible Tigers! Go!" Chris said.

The six stood right by the edge of the cliff, horrified.

Ziggy suddenly inched back. "I feel no need to be afraid, I am one with the ocean!" Ziggy then ran straight off the cliff and plummeted directly into the safe zone.

"Oh, wow, uh…" Misty said. "Ziggy just… jumped…"

"Yo! Ziggy!" James yelled. "You okay?"

Down in the safe zone, Ziggy gave a thumbs up. "Yes! I am one with mother nature!"

* * *

 **James** : "I don't get that chick, bitch is crazy."

* * *

 **Ziggy** : "I feel so enlightened."

* * *

"I can't get my fedora wet!" Carl exclaimed. "My chick magnet will be ruined!"

"No!" D'arcy screamed. "You are NOT losing this challenge for us because of a fucking hat!"

With one motion, D'arcy grabbed the greasy fedora off Carl's head and threw it straight off the cliff.

"NO!" Carl cried as he fell to his knees. "You monster!"

"It was a hat," Evan said flatly.

"It is NOT just a hat," Carl replied defensively. "It's a life style, you couldn't pull it off if you tried because it's class, and class is for men and SWAG is for boys!"

"What?" Evan said.

"Oh, never mind," Carl sighed. "You simply wouldn't understa—"

Suddenly, D'arcy shoved Carl off the cliff sharply. The neckbeard fell straight into the safe zone.

"And The Tigers have two!" Chris said.

James, Misty, and Evan stared blankly at D'arcy.

"What?" D'arcy said.

* * *

 **D'arcy** : "The hell was I supposed to do? Let him cost us the win? Hell no!"

* * *

"Stop fucking staring at me with your disgusting male gaze!" D'arcy screamed. "Ugh!"

D'arcy then jumped off the cliff into the water below, scoring the Tigers their third point.

"Well guys," James said. "I guess it's our turn. Here I go!"

James then without hesitation jumped off the cliff into the safe zone. Misty and Evan cringed at hearing James hit the water with a crack.

"Ouch dude, that's gotta hurt broski… but I'm no dork…" Evan said, priming himself to jump off the cliff. "Cowabunga!"

Evan then hit the water belly first in the safe zone. He crumpled up as he sank into the water.

Misty sighed loudly.

* * *

 **Misty** : "Never done well with heights… but I'm not gonna let the team down."

* * *

Misty then took a deep breath and began to run off the cliff. She screamed as she landed in the safe zone.

"Wow!" Chris exclaimed. "The Terrible Tigers actually earned a perfect score! That's gonna be a tough act to follow! Alright Leaping Lizards, you're up!"

"Alright team!" Jared exclaimed. "So listen up, we gotta all get down in that safe zone! Alright? Even you wimps over there!"

Jared pointed to the three girls. "Um, what if I don't want to jump." Ivory said.

"Well then I guess you're gonna be the reason we lose!" Jared said. "Now, let's do this in an orderly fashion. Kyle, you're up!"

"Oh," Kyle said.

Anthony laughed. "So long as my toned abs don't get hurt or my precious face is not scratched, I am fine doing anything!" Kyle rolled his eyes and jumped off the cliff, scoring them a point.

* * *

 **Anthony** : "He's just jealous."

* * *

"Sue-Li, you're next!" Jared said. "Unless you're… chicken. Ha!"

"Excuse me?" Sue-Li said. "Who do you think you're talking to?"

"You," Jared retorted. "Get to steppin'."

Clementine rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, just do is Sue-Li. Yell at him later. It's not worth it."

"Ugh, fine," Sue-Li sighed as she hesitantly jumped off the cliff. However, she did not score a point due to not landing in the zone.

"Stupid little…" Jared muttered. "Can't do anything right!"

"So what are you gonna do about it," Ivory said. "I don't see you jumping."

"W-Well!" Jared stammered. "I was just getting to that! It's now my turn!"

Jared walked a few feet back, turned around and began running towards the end of the cliff before tripping and stumbling off. He began hitting rock after rock and eventually hit the water in the in zone, scoring a point.

* * *

 **Jared** : "I still scored a point!"

* * *

"I don't want to do this anymore!" Anthony squealed. "My precious goods could be compromised!"

"Fine, I'll do it…" Ivory said simply stepping off the cliff. She fell into the safe zone immediately.

"No!" Anthony exclaimed.

* * *

 **Anthony** : "I cannot damage these goods! It's my livelihood! How else can I get chicks?"

* * *

"You are such a baby…" Clementine remarked. "Fine, suit yourself."

Clementine then ungracefully dived off the cliff and landed outside of the safe zone, not scoring a point.

"Alright! Kyle, Jared, and Ivory all scored a point! Sue-Li and Clementine didn't make it but hey, better than a chicken!" Chris said. "Anthony however, failed to even try so now the Lizards are in last with two whole points! Will the Bears be able to pull it out?"

"Guys, come on, we only need three people to make it in the safe zone to win," Milo said.

"Yes, we KNOW that already," Marshall replied.

"We can do this! Go team goooooooooo!" Lyn screamed.

Wednesday rolled her eyes. "This is unnecessary. I am going to go sit down."

"What?!" Lyn replied. "The team NEEDS you Wednesday!"

"No you don't," Wednesday said. "You need three people. Not including me. Bye."

* * *

 **Wednesday** : "I don't take part in challenges."

* * *

"Well if that ugly fat gets to sit out then I get to too!" Vanessa replied. "I don't want to get this Versace dress wet!"

"You're kidding right?" Milo replied.

"Uhm, no," Vanessa said, walking away. "I could not be more serious right now, this challenge is for like, poor people!"

"Great," Milo said. "Now we need all four of us to jump to even tie."

* * *

 **Milo** : "God this is a complete disaster… how could this get any worse?"

* * *

"Okay team!" Lyn said. "I think someone needs to take initiative so I am going to! Let's go TEAM!"

Lyn then jumped off the cliff and into the safe zone, finally scoring the Bears a point.

"Alright, Dawson," Milo said. "You go ahead and go next."

Dawson's eyes darted around. "What? Why me?!"

"Because you're the most likely to chicken out," Milo said.

"Okay fair," Dawson replied. He then took a couple steps back. "Here goes… nothing…"

Dawson then screamed loudly and covered his eyes as he ran straight off the edge and into the safe zone.

"Wow! The bears are finally at a dazzling 0 points! Heheh!" Chris laughed.

* * *

 **Milo** : "It's down to the line, we just need to get these two points. If we can do that, we might have a chance."

* * *

"Marshall," Milo said. "Now it's just up to us."

"Well Captain Obvious you might just be onto something!" Marshall mocked.

Milo sighed. "Listen, we just need to get this over with, okay? Let's tie it up and go to some weird tie breaker thing."

"Alright. On the count of three, we jump?" Milo said.

Marshall laughed. "I can agree to that."

"Okay… one, two…" Milo and Marshall both got ready to jump.

They began running, "Three!" Milo said as he jumped. He turned to see Marshall still standing on the cliff.

"Actually, I changed my mind!" Marshall laughed as Milo fell into the safe zone. "Chris, this challenge is over."

"Wow, brutal!" Chris said. "But I guess that's an admission of defeat! The Bears lose with a score of one! Pathetic. You'll be seeing me at the marshmallow ceremony tonight kiddies!"

"Dammit!" Lyn said as the other two teams cheered.

Later, at the flagpole, the Boring Bears were having a team meeting.

"Marshall, what the heck was that?" Lyn exclaimed. "No team unity whatsoever!"

Marshall laughed. "What? I didn't want to jump. I'm scared of heights… you wouldn't want me to face my fears would you?"

"Well… no, but…" Lyn stammered.

"The point is, you cost us the challenge dude," Milo said. "Now we have to boot someone, and we gotta figure that out."

"Again, thanks Captain Obvious…" Marshall said. "Well, if you're done lecturing me, I'm going to go do some strategy. If anyone wishes to join me, they are welcome to."

Marshall walked away and left the other five to themselves.

* * *

 **Marshall** : "It was a calculated move… to pull off the most epic first boot in Total Drama history! I have it all laid out, and now the pieces just have to fall where I have planted them to… and I will have put my name on the All-Star list one day into this competition!"

* * *

A little while later, Wednesday was sitting alone in the girls cabin. Lyn suddenly opened the door and plopped down next to her.

"Hey there Wednesday!" Lyn exclaimed. "So who are you thinking of voting?!"

"It's none of your business," Wednesday said.

"Are you suuuure?" Lyn said. "I think you should vote for Marshall tonight! I think he's voting for you tonight?"

"So? I don't care," Wednesday said flatly.

Lyn immediately squinted her eyes and walked away. "Fine! See if I care if you go home! You aren't helping us at all!"

* * *

 **Lyn** : "Clearly she just doesn't care... this team WOULD be stronger without her… but no! I musn't! I have to stick to the plan!"

* * *

Lyn then walked up to Milo and smiled broadly. "I think that went… horribly!"

"What happened?" Milo said.

"I asked her who she was voting and SUBTLY pushed for Marshall!" Lyn exclaimed. "Then she said she didn't care so I told her to die!"

"O-Oh my god please tell me you didn't," Milo said, cupping his face in his hands.

Lyn nodded excitedly. Milo groaned loudly

"Well, I guess we're on our own here since Marshall seems to have already courted Dawson and Vanessa..." Milo said. "Unless…"

* * *

 **Milo** : "Dawson is our only hope at this point. Unfortunately, Marshall kind of got to him already, but I am not giving up. I will not surrender."

* * *

Dawson was walking around the woods before suddenly being ambushed by Milo and Lyn. "Hey," Milo said.

"Ah!" Dawson exclaimed. "What's up?"

Milo shrugged. "Not much, really. We're just trying to put together an alliance of sorts. You, me, and Lyn. What do you say?"

"Well… this is all so sudden…" Dawson said.

"Yeah but it's works as a coalition of good vs evil right?!" Lyn exclaimed.

"Well… yeah…" Dawson stuttered.

"So, for this vote, I think we're voting Marshall tonight," Milo said. Dawson's eyes widened. "He's a big drain on moral and he literally cost us a chance at the win, sound good?"

"Y-Yes…" Dawson said, quietly.

* * *

 **Dawson** : "I-I don't know what to do… I have two alliances now… I don't like this at all… and now we have an alliance meeting with them in like ten minutes."

* * *

Ten minutes later, in the woods, Vanessa and Marshall were waiting for Dawson, who came ambling up to them. "You're late," Marshall said.

"I'm sorry…" Dawson said. "I had some business to take care of…"

"Ew!" Vanessa exclaimed. "He had to go poop!"

Dawson shook his head. "W-Wait—"

"Whatever, it doesn't matter," Marshall said. "The point of this meeting is to state that I have the most diabolical plan ever! It is foolproof!"

"Is it?" Vanessa said.

"Yes…" Marshall replied. "I literally just explained it to you and you LITERALLY said it was the most diabolical plan ever!"

"I don't remember that," Vanessa said.

Marshall stared blankly. "Whatever, the point is. We need to get one of the goody-goodies out! They're causing a major problem for us, they might be able to overtake us if we don't take them down now!"

"Wow, really?" Dawson said. "That wouldn't be good…"

"No, no it wouldn't be," Marshall said. "The point is, we need to get rid of their strongest force of good, the one who can overthrow us with ease!"

"W-Who would that be?" Dawson said?

Marshall mouthed the target's name, and Dawson's eyes widened again.

"Got it?" Marshall said. "Good, see you at the vote."

Marshall and Vanessa walked away, leaving Dawson alone in the woods.

* * *

 **Marshall** : "If this goes off without a hitch, may as well write me the check now… I got this in the bag."

* * *

 **Dawson** : "This decision… is huge… and I don't know what to do! Ugh! I hate this!"

* * *

 **Vanessa** : "Wait, he DIDN'T need to poop, did he!"

* * *

That night, at the marshmallow ceremony, Chris stood before the six losers. "Boring Bears, welcome to the elimination ceremony. When I call your name, you will come up and claim a marshmallow. The person who does NOT receive a marshmallow must immediately take their belongings and walk down the dock of shame, and board the boat of losers! That means you're out of the contest, and you can't come back. Ever!"

The six looked around at each other.

"Alright, first marshmallow goes to…" Chris said. "Dawson!"

Dawson got up and claimed a marshmallow.

"Next is… Wednesday! And then… Vanessa!"

The two got up and claimed their marshmallows. Lyn, Marshall, and Milo looked at each other.

"The fourth marshmallow goes to… Lyn!"

Lyn cheered and got up to get her marshmallow. Milo's eyes widened and Marshall began smirking.

"Alright, this IS the final marshmallow…" Chris said. "The final marshmallow of the night goes to…

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

..

…

…

"Marshall," Chris said.

Marshall began laughing loudly as he got up to get his marshmallow as Milo sat, shocked. Lyn looked around, shocked.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lyn exclaimed as she fell to her knees.

"What?" Milo said. "How?"

Dawson's eyes darted away.

"Wow," Milo said. "All I really have to say is wow. Good luck, I guess."

Milo then got up and walked down the dock of shame to the boat of losers.

"Alright! First camper down, seventeen left to go!" Chris smiled. "Who will take the trip next? Find out next time, on Total! Drama! Notan Island!"


End file.
